How a Dead Hydrangea Broke my Heart Open…

May 19, 2020

Sad Hydrangea Plant delivered to Original Sin Jewelry

Howdy Jewelry Fan! So good to have you stop by my little corner of the internet and say Hello! I know we were supposed to meet up in Houston or Scottsdale. Maybe we were supposed to meet up in Pittsburgh, Atlanta, Madison or Salt Lake. And I’m deeply sorry to have not been there, or to not be there in the near future. I’m hoping you are well, and healthy and your family, loved ones and community are as well. I’ve had so many emails and conversations with my Patron Club members. Thank you. I’m truly grateful for all of you. I’m giving away Free Mantra Decks, all you have to do is click on the link at the end and let me know where to send the cute little stack of 12 cards chock full of OSJ’s Practical Positivity.

I’ve actually been a bit in awe at the connections we’ve made over the last decade; how my work and my travels have connected women and men like brilliant, bright stars in the myriad of the night sky. You are truly amazing.

This week, I’ve been thinking about a Lady very near to me. She raised a beautifully souled human. He’s smart and funny, and steady and when he smiles, even after 25 years, my heart melts just a little more. This Lady and I have had a relationship that has ebbed and flowed over the years, not a new story between generations or women raised with different ethos, but our story, nonetheless.   Sometimes I wondered if she even SAW me, KNEW me or CARED.

Last week I found out she did in fact SEE me, KNOW me and CARED. You see, I’m talking about my husband’s mother, my MIL. For Mother’s Day she used a well-known internet flower company to send me a big, beautiful plant. But it got stuck in translation, delayed in delivery and it literally boiled in the box it was packaged so beautifully in. It happens sometimes and after the wild ride of the last couple of months, I wasn’t super phased by it.

She was. She called the company and gave them H-E-L-L. I asked her why she was so upset about it, and what she said blew me away, “After the last couple of months, with your shows being canceled and closing the store, I just wanted you to have something special for Mother’s Day.” You see, Jewelry Fan, I’ve been holding onto that little piece of sadness for a month or so. I just couldn’t afford the rent and expenses of the store with my income completely dried up. I shame-facedly laid off my employees and packed everything into a storage unit, swept the store clean and turned in the keys.

Epic. Failure. My dirty, little, shameful secret. And one woman, through an act of compassionate kindness broke open the floodgate of feelings and made me feel special whether that plant lived or died (well, it had already died, but that’s not the point). I cried for about 12 straight hours, throat raw and eyes puffy for days. I’m learning to be ok with failure and loss. I’m grateful my loss is only a business, not a family member or friend, but it’s still a loss and I needed to let myself feel it.

And now there’s moving on to do and rebuilding my business and picking up the pieces of my broken heart. The good news is that the Original Sin Jewelry Store may have found a new home. I’m going to keep the details under wraps a bit longer, but I’m so excited for what may come towards the end of this year or the beginning of 2021. In fact, if not for the failure, I may not have looked for another path. In the meantime, I’ve also got my eye on an in-between spot, so we can connect again in person and spread OSJ’s version of Practical Positivity. Right now, summer shows are all cancelled, but if we are very fastidious, perhaps we can fist bump at some autumn shows. A girl can hope, can’t I?

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