Ugh. My Hearts are Showing

January 17, 2021

Handmade Original Sin Jewelry Expandable Sterling Silver Bracelet with Heart charm and Rhodolite Garnet

Howdy Jewelry Friend! I know it’s been a hot minute, or should I say Holiday Minute, since I dropped into your life with a bit of poetic, witty writing. I hope you’ve been well and navigated out of the last year (that shall remain unnamed for fear of attracting the attention of the Dark Overlords which inhabited the aforementioned unmentioned year (although at some point, I won’t be able to resist writing about it)) and have set some excellent intentions for this year. I’ve had the same resolution for 4-5 years (“Don’t stab anyone”) and while I work on achieving it, I focus on my intentions. 

Well. Really, I try to focus on my intentions daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly and for the year. Sometimes, I’m focusing on my intentions minute by minute. And some minutes, it’s a one second at a time kinda thing. If you’ve been working from home, schooling children at home, isolating at home, doing all your things at home instead of where you used to do them, I know you know what I’m saying. 

In the middle of all of this focusing, manifesting and intending, my now not a secret obsession with hugs and hearts has been showing itself. Ugh. It makes my inner Tough Lady cringe way more than a bit, but then I’m off contemplating why it’s all about the Tough Lady? Don’t we also need Hugging Heart Ladies? Is it possible to be Tough, Hugging, Heart Lady? 

In my Heart I’m hoping the answer to that last question is a “Hell Yes!” 

Exciting personal revelation time! I’m going to let you in on a little secret. At my house, the end of every argument is celebrated, ended and put to rest, FOREVER, with a Hug. Sometimes, when thoughts and emotions are too much to tame and explain, we just say, “Can we Hug it out?” Sometimes, it takes some real arguing to get there, and other times it’s fast tracked. Now, you gotta know, it’s perfectly acceptable for either party to say “No.” It hurts a little, mostly a lot, but it’s about respecting someone's boundaries and allowing them the space to decide when they want to move on. 

Furthermore, Hugs can’t be forced, because when our Heart isn’t in them, they’re just awkward. (Am I wrong??) And ain’t no one moving on until their Heart is ready for a Hug. Eventually, the non-hugging party comes back and accepts a Hug; their Heart tells them when it’s time. And so, at my house, in my life, every argument creates an opportunity for the Heart to grow into the space where anger once lived. In an existential kind of way, with a little bit of extrapolation, it’s possible and probable, the idea, that someday all the angst will be replaced and subverted by Heart. It would be miraculous in fact.  

Maybe it’s not really a surprise that I’ve been obsessed with Hearts lately. The year-which-shall-remain-unnamed was full of tension. Angst. Suffering. No win decisions and lives in danger all around. Can we not just Hug it out?? I need to Hug it out. I’m full up on tension and angst. My heart is ready and showing, in all the ways it possibly can. 

It makes me uncomfortable.

I wish I could hide it. 

But I can’t stop with the Hearts. 

Both Jan/Feb collections are laced with hearts. Hearts, hearts, everywhere. Hearts for days. The Valentine’s Day Rhodolite Garnet Collection was meant to launch Feb of the year that shall remain unnamed, at my first store’s Grand Opening Celebration. Life had other plans. (Insert casual shrug emoji here instead of the actual broken heart emoji which is what I was (am?) feeling in the REAL.) The Pandemic happened. I closed the store and moved locations. (Laying off my staff was the most gut wrenching piece of the entire situation, but there was no money, no work to be done with the world shut down.) I almost lost my heart, the cornerstone of my business, amidst the challenges. But the Garnets, whose meaning often signifies the heart, inner fire, the power of life force, called me back.

I stutter-stepped my way to the bench, back to the collection of Garnets and Turquoise Hearts (these are the Galentine’s Day Collection- actual Turquoise cut into heart shapes. I’ve been purchasing those in the shadows for two or three years.) Ugh. It’s all awkward to admit. 

And Beautiful. 

And exactly what I need; what I think we all need. With Garnets a true symbol of friendship and love, and with the year that shall remain unnamed having just happened, it seems urgent for us to transform our lives and communities.

Let’s move into 2021 with our Hearts taking up MORE space than anger; let’s allow Hugs and Hearts to take the place of anger and angst. Together, if we all show our Hearts, even if it’s uncomfortable, we will move forward along a trajectory that might transform what is into what is better.

Better. It's a good intention for 2021. 




Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.


Also in Journal

Original Sin Jewelry Secret Inscriptions
Messages in a Bezel: The Secret Life of Margaret’s Inscriptions

March 18, 2021

Howdy Jewelry Friend! I’ve been writing messages INSIDE the bezels that hold the stones in your OSJ Jewelry. For like, two or three years. (Insert shrug emoji here.) If you have a purely woven piece, then, whew! I guess you can skip this whole confessional. But if you’re bezel-curious or bezel-positive, then maybe you should read on?? Initially, like any tiny habit and secret, it started simple. The words were simple, things like, “Soul Shine”, “Love Wins”, “Believe in You” and “Be the Light.”

Continue Reading

Yellow Jackets: Reframed - Original Sin Jewelry
Yellow Jackets: Reframed

August 19, 2020

Some of my earliest memories of August center around the long, last days of summer, a child’s perfect wish to hold onto the time before school began and the day long bike riding sessions and drawing chalk spaceships in the street and playing Horses and swing sets and lemonade on the back patio. I lived in extreme northwest New Jersey as a young child and the sunlight lasted until after my bedtime. I happily recall twilight dreams under my pink, cotton comforter (yes, I still have it. Like Dierks Bentley, “I Hold On”) where I’d ride horses across the west and zoom into space where the expanse of stars would twinkle and welcome me (I didn’t know the physics of the atmosphere interacting with the wavelengths of light, so in my woman child dreams, the stars ALWAYS twinkled, even when floating amongst them).

Continue Reading

Garden Markers for Margaret's Succulent Garden
Succulent Gardens: Isolation and Transformation

July 24, 2020

So cute! Wooden box, all little green bits promising to thrive on neglect and small amounts of water. Surely the perfect plants for me!! Perfect size for my desk! (A desk which is the first grown up desk I’ve ever owned- bought it last fall after stalking it online and in person for nearly a half a year.)  Perfect right next to the lamp (Costco buy and it’s twin is in my family room) to the right of my monitor, a bright green, adorable reminder that we are all living and connected.

 Except they started dying.

I can promise you, I was giving them ALL the neglect they needed. Stressed about my green experiment and NOT wanting my husband’s over two-decade premonitive admonition to be true, I moved them over to my studio windowsill. Lots of sunshine there!! And I fussed. I may have overwatered them if my niece is right—we had a frantic facetime consultative intervention when I noticed big, bold, juicy leaves on the rug. AHHHHHHHH!!!

Continue Reading